All I Want
by Sir Gawaine
Summary: 'All I want is nothing more/Than to hear you knocking at my door'. AKA The One With The Boy's Night In. Seventh in the Harry, Ruth, Kodaline series.


**A/N – In which I indulge my passion for child POVs. Set just post 5.5.**

_**When you said your last goodbye,  
I died a little bit inside,  
All I want is nothing more,  
Than to hear you knocking at my door.**_

Daddy gave Jenny the night off. He said that they were going to have a boy's night in and that Wes could choose the pizza topping and the DVD.

Wes liked pizza. Granny hardly ever let him eat it, said that a growing boy didn't need junk food. Daddy liked it even more than he did, so they ate it whenever Daddy was home. Daddy wasn't home that much but he did try, Wes knew. His work was very important, just like Mummy's had been.

Wes missed Mummy. He missed her very much. He remembered that day by the river when Daddy told him Mummy wasn't coming home. Daddy had looked so sad that Wes knew he was telling the truth, even though they both wished he wasn't.

Wes hadn't told anyone that sometimes he pretended Mummy would still come back one day and she would have that same smell she always had, the one like flowers and honey, and she would kiss his forehead and tell him everything would alright.

He knew that would never, ever happen. Pretending just made the hurt go away for a little while.

At seven o'clock, the doorbell rang. Wes looked at Daddy, who smiled.

"Who is it, Daddy?"

"Why don't you go and see?"

Wes dropped the car he was holding and ran to the door. He was too small to see through the peep hole so he just pulled the door open.

"Uncle Harry!"

"Hello, son," Uncle Harry said, laughing a little laugh when Wes threw his arms around him. Wes felt his big, warm hand resting on his back.

"Have you come for our boy's night in, Uncle Harry?"

"I have. Are you going to let me come in?"

Wes grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. Daddy was leaning against the wall and he smiled again. He hadn't smiled for a long time. It was nice to see.

"Daddy, Uncle Harry is here!"

"I know. I asked him to come."

"Uncle Harry, we're going to watch 'Up'!"

"'Up'?" Uncle Harry looked at Daddy as he took his coat off.

"Kid's film. By all accounts, pretty good. I don't know what it's about."

"It's about going on an adventure and there's a floating house and a talking dog and-"

"Wes, give Uncle Harry a chance to catch his breath. Why don't you go and choose what you want on the pizza?"

Wes nodded, running through to the lounge and spreading the menu on the table. He could hear Daddy and Uncle Harry in the kitchen, talking quietly. Uncle Harry asked Daddy how he was, and how Wes was. Daddy said they were alright. He asked Uncle Harry how _he_ was and Uncle Harry said alright. They stopped then, coming into the lounge with two bottles of beer and a can of Coke for Wes. This was another treat; Granny said that Coke was horrible stuff.

"I want chilli beef and sausage and mushroom please!" Wes took the menu over to show Daddy, who nodded and picked up the phone.

"Chilli beef?" Uncle Harry raised his eyebrows, "That's adventurous for an eight year old."

"Chip off the old block, is my Wes," Daddy said, "Are those toppings alright for you?"

"Fine."

The pizzas took an hour to come but that was alright. Uncle Harry asked about school and the things Wes was learning. Wes answered all of his questions, happy to talk. Sometimes Daddy didn't want to talk so much. He just listened now, sipping his beer. Apart from his questions, Uncle Harry didn't say that much either but that didn't matter. They had the sports channel on in the background and the voice of the pretty lady on the screen made Wes feel very safe. He wasn't sure why.

The pizza came late and they should have got it for free. The delivery boy told them that there had been a big accident and he was caught in the middle of it. He was so sorry and so worried that his boss would tell him off that Uncle Harry decided to pay for the pizza anyway. He gave the boy more money than he should have and told him to keep the change. The boy went red and thanked him, disappearing quickly down the stairs.

"Did you see his shoes?" Uncle Harry asked Daddy, when the door was closed. Daddy just nodded and went into the kitchen. Wes tried to decide what they were talking about. The boy had been wearing old trainers with a hole in the toe. They weren't special. They weren't even cool ones, like the bigger boys at school had.

Grown-ups were strange sometimes.

"Come on, Wes," Uncle Harry said, "You must know how this DVD player works. Come and help an old man."

They sat on the sofa with the pizza on the coffee table in front of them. Daddy brought more drinks out from the kitchen and Wes pressed the play button on the remote control.

The start of the film was a bit soppy.

There was a man and a lady who met and then got married, and then they went to the doctor and the lady was sad and the man hugged her. They went on a picnic and had lots of fun and they got old, and then the lady got sick and the man was sad and then the lady was gone.

Wes had eaten three slices of pizza before he noticed that Daddy had stopped eating and Uncle Harry hadn't even started. He looked at Daddy's face. He looked sad, but he was looking more at Uncle Harry than at the screen. Wes turned to Uncle Harry and couldn't believe what he saw. Uncle Harry was leaning against the back of the sofa and he was _crying_. He wasn't crying lots and he wasn't any noise but Wes could see some tears on his cheek and his eyes were shiny.

He looked back at Daddy, confused, but Daddy had picked up some pizza and was looking very hard at the TV, blinking a lot like he had something in his eye. Wes didn't know what to do. He put down the pizza he was holding and wiped his hands carefully, before he wriggled back and tucked himself under Uncle Harry's arm. Sometimes Daddy liked to cuddle him when he was sad and it was the only thing he could think of. Uncle Harry's arm came down from the back of the sofa and he pulled Wes closer to his side but he didn't say anything. They sat like that for a little while and the film got better and more interesting. Daddy didn't say anything but he gave Uncle Harry a napkin, who wiped his face, and then let Wes go to carry on eating.

After the pizza was finished, Daddy paused the film and went to get the ice cream from the freezer. Wes didn't know if he should ask Uncle Harry what was wrong and so he didn't say anything. He ate his ice cream and then he cuddled up to Uncle Harry again. Daddy smiled at him and the smile looked like it was a secret, just between the two of them.

When the film finished, Wes was very tired. Daddy picked him up and then bent down so Uncle Harry could say goodbye.

"Goodnight, Wes," he said, kissing his forehead, "I'll see you soon."

"Goodnight, Uncle Harry. I'm glad you came to see us."

Daddy carried him upstairs and helped him brush his teeth and change into his pyjamas.

"Did you like that film?" Daddy asked, pulling back the covers so that Wes could climb into bed, "I liked the dog, didn't you?"

"He was funny," Wes smiled to remember him, "I liked him the best. And I liked the bird."

"I had a friend at university who looked like that bird," Daddy smiled, "Very tall and thin and kind of goofy looking."

Wes laughed and took Daddy's hand. Daddy sat down and smoothed back Wes' hair from his forehead. He looked like he was waiting for something.

"Daddy," Wes whispered, "Daddy, why was Uncle Harry crying? You saw, didn't you?"

"I did," Daddy said quietly, and he sighed.

"Is it a secret?"

"No, it's not a secret, not really."

Daddy stared at him for a bit before he spoke again.

"Uncle Harry loved someone very much, like Carl loved Ellie in the film. And this week, she had to go away. Uncle Harry will never see her again."

"Did she go away like Mummy had to go away?"

"She did," Daddy said, and he swallowed hard, "So Uncle Harry is just a little bit sad right now."

"I gave him a cuddle," Wes said, "You like cuddles when you're sad."

"I do," Daddy murmured, "You're a very good boy, Wes. Uncle Harry liked seeing you today. You helped him a lot."

"I'm sorry his friend had to go away."

"Me too, mate. I'll tell him you said that. Now, it's time to go to sleep, OK? We have rugby in the morning, don't we?"

"Goodnight, Daddy. I love you."

"I love you too," Daddy sniffed, leaning down and kissing Wes' forehead, "I love you so much, mate."

Wes listened to their voices for a little bit before he went to sleep. He couldn't hear what they were saying but they were talking a lot, and he heard some more bottles of beer being opened in the kitchen. He felt bad that Daddy and Uncle Harry would be sad like Carl in the film and he hoped they would start to feel better soon. He wondered if Uncle Harry's friend had been like Mummy and he wondered if her and Mummy were happy in that place that they had to go away to.

He hoped they were. He couldn't bear the idea of them being sad too.


End file.
